


The Doubts the Plague Me

by HerponRiki



Category: Octopath Traveler (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Insecurity, Running Away, The whole gang is here, but this is a Tressa centered story, doubts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-28
Updated: 2018-09-28
Packaged: 2019-07-18 13:24:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16119359
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HerponRiki/pseuds/HerponRiki
Summary: Tressa starts to doubt her reason for going on this grand journey.





	The Doubts the Plague Me

**Author's Note:**

> REMINDER THIS IS NONCANON AND I LOVE TRESSA
> 
> Character recruitment in this order: Tressa, Obleric, Primrose, Therion, Haan'it, Alfyn, Cyrus, Ophilia.

When Tressa started out on her grand adventure, she wanted to explore and follow the footsteps of the mysterious man in her book. She wanted to learn more about what the world has to offer that her small town by the coast couldn’t provide. She left with high hopes and excitement hoping to tell stories to her parents when she gets back her exciting adventure. But when she met the seven other people who would join her, her reason for traveling seemed to more… childish compared to the other men and women traveling with her. When Tressa wanted to go to Quarrycrest, she was greeted with complaints from Primrose and Therion and impatience from the others. Of course, that was at the beginning of their journey and they were strangers to each other; but that was the last time she asked to go on her adventure. Everyone started to warm up to each other as time passed on, but the feeling of loneliness and heartbreak stayed with her the entire time. 

Of course she wants to travel around Osterra, she traveled with the others to new lands; but it wasn’t her story to tell. Of course she wants to beat Ali, to see who the better merchant is; but it seems it wasn’t meant to be. Her list of doubts continues on and on, but her biggest one is that going on this journey she was going on was a selfish merchant who justs wants money. In that case she is no better than Omar, riches overflowing out of their pockets but their soul is completely bankrupt. The feeling of forcing her companions to join her on her journey for nothing more than riches, then she is no better that the man who took advantage of the mining town he was scamming. Of course, she still acted happy and snarky all the time around her friends; she didn’t want them to worry about her while they continue their story. But these doubts plagued her and her doubts became voices in her head and they got louder and louder and LOUDER.

Until she had enough.

She didn’t hate her friends, no she loved them all. Olberic’s will power, Primrose’s kindness, Alfyn’s enthusiasm, Therion’s faith, Haan’it’s loyalty, Cyrus’s wisdom, and Ophilia's hidden fierceness. All of their traits affected her and helped her mature through their long journey and she would never give up these experiences for the world. However, she felt like nothing more than a failure and a burden to all of them. So she decide to leave them, in the shadow of the night and follow the footsteps of the man in the journal. Then reach Grandport and have a final face off with Ali like she promised and then go home.

‘Maybe I’ll open up a small shop somewhere, maybe in a different continent.’ Tressa thought as she packed her bags in the dead of night and stuffed pillows under her blanket. ‘Or maybe follow a different career choice, maybe being a merchant isn’t for me. Maybe I’ll find a job for something else… or not.’ She hoisted her bag onto her shoulders and silently opened the door. Tressa looked if she woke up any of the girls by accident, but the long fight against one of the Runelord took everything out of them it seems. She smiled at their sleeping faces, peace and comfort on their faces. “You guys will be fine without me… goodbye.” She whispered and she set off. A sealed letter on her bedside counter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s been a few weeks since she left them all behind; traveling from Everhold to Victor’s Hollows was no easy feat, especially when she was leaving traces everywhere in Ostera to throw them off just in case. When she finally arrived, she was greeted by a merchant; followed by Captain Leon and the bandits reformed. They caught up with each other while at the tavern when she overheard a conversation between two men.

“Have you heard? Some small band of travelers have been looking for a merchant girl for sometime now. What do you think she did to get them so riled up?” His partner thought for a moment, then laughed. “The gal prob’ly scammed them reaalllll bad and wanted to tie up the score.” The man looked at him and sighed. “You’re prob’ly right. But I first heard about them when I was in Grandport, and I heard about them on the way here! WEEKS in between my friend. How bad do you think the bitch scammed them?” His partner looked at him and shrugged and the conversation continued into a different discussion but Tressa didn’t hear the rest. 

‘I can’t believe that they are searching for me. Why? WHY? Why would they wish to find a selfish merchant girl who traveled the continent to find better ways get money out of people’s pockets. I should be nothing to them… nothing, nothing, nothing, NOTHIN-!’ 

“Tressa!”

 

Tressa snapped out of her thoughts and returned to the present. Captain Leon was in front of her, hand on her shoulders, with a concerned look on his face. The sound of people chatting still present; his disturbance going unnoticed by the other paterons and she was grateful. “Are you alright? I lost you there for a second my friend.”

“Yes, I’m fine Leon. Nothing to worry! I must’ve been more tired than I thought.” Tressa explained, hoping that explanation was enough. It wasn’t.

“To be frank with you Tressa, I believe you are lying.” Captain Leon removed his hand and sat back down on his chair. “I heard similar rumors to that man’s story. A mix band of travelers and heroes searching for a merchant girl matching your age and description.” Tressa froze. “And by that reaction I do believe the mysterious merchant is you.”

“... I told them I didn’t want to be followed.” Tressa replied sadly.

“Why did you leave them? Did they do something to you? Or did they do something to you?” 

“Well, it’s a mix of both. It’s kinda a long story, do you still want to know?” 

“Of course, I owe you for the map anyways.”

“Well it goes a little something like this.” Tressa explained everything to him, her insecurities, her feeling of helplessness and how her teammates treated her at first; although they have warmed up to each other. 

“... I see.” Leon pondered. “I do believe that your thoughts and insecurities are unfounded however.”

“How do you mean?” Tressa questioned.

“You see, when times get tough, sailor band together and support each other no matter what happens. Those bonds help others see their faults and encourages maturity and at the same time strengthen those bonds. Out in the sea, the waves and wind can be your enemies and when you go over there is almost no turning back. Although you can stumble and fall, there are other people to help get you back on your feet. Those who refuse help can fall overboard, never be able to get back onto the ship and will be lost at sea. Your companions are your crew, are they not?”

Tressa stared for a while and a doubt, no the feeling of guilt, something she tried to keep down started to resurface. 

I left my friends behind. 

Tressa shot up, the tavern fell silent, and she head towards the door. “Tressa wai-”

“I’m going to find that stone. It’s a precious keepsake that your friend left behind, right?” Tressa turned around and smiled. “I’m going to find it for you, don’t you worry!” She stood proud and tall. “I’ll find it and bring it to you soon, don’t you worry!” Then Tressa ran out of the tavern.

Leon look on in shock, then it slowly transformed into worry. “Tressa…” He quickly turned. “I’m sorry Tressa, but I’m getting your crew back. You say one thing but the eyes are the windows to the soul, and in them you look very alone.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Finally found it!” Tressa spent hours trying to find the hidden spot. She found that the map isn’t as easy to follow in a dark cave. Not to mention the nasty monsters around every corner and barely being able to see anything… but most of all she was lost in her thoughts as she reminisce about what Leon told her. ‘I should apologize to Leon, I just left him all alone without a proper explanation.’ Leon’s word echoed through her head, “Although you can stumble and fall, there are other people to help get you back on your feet.” ‘No!’ Tressa shook her head. ‘Now is not the time to be think about stupid things’ “Now to get this and bring it back to Le-“ “GWARRRRRRARRRR!!!” A noise tumbled through the cave and Tressa spotted a tiger at the cave’s cliff. “What is that?” Tressa exclaimed as the tiger jumped towards her, its claws outstretched. “It’s headed this way! Guys! Get do-”, but when she turned around there was no one there. ‘Right, I forgot…’, she felt the tiger’s paw slam into her body and launched her to the other side of the wall, ‘I’m all alone now’. She tried to get back up but slid down the wall once again. She looked down and saw that it had managed to get her right leg and it slowly started to turn into a dark shade of purple; but she didn’t care, her mind was millions of miles away. ‘Mom, Dad, Leon, Ali, … everyone,’ the beast was looming over her with its mouth starting to open wide and Tressa had no strength left to fight, “I’m so sorry.” 

And her world went black. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“D- --t --l-er!” 

‘Huh?’ A voice echoed in the painless void, a familiar voice.

“DO NOT FALTER, TRESSA!”

Tressa suddenly felt a warm light fill her, the pain started to throb once more but then slowly fading away like a bad dream and she felt some sort of paste on her injured leg. She recognized that voice, how could she not? He was her first companion on her travels, when she still was a bright eyed adventurer with naive dreams. He became the pillar that everyone could lean on and is like a second father to her.. “...Olberic….wat… re… you.”, Tressa looked around and saw Ophilia with tears in her eyes and Alfyn with a hard look of concentration. In front of her she saw Therion, Primrose, Olberic, Haan’it, Linde, and Cyrus fighting off the beast. “Everyone…. How did you fin-” “Sir Leon found us.”, Ophilia interrupted, “We were staying at S'warkii and was about to leave when we accidentally stumbled upon the captain.” Ophilia turned to face her, “How could you leave us like that!” Ophilia cried. “What in the name of Alferic were you thinking? We were all so worried for you, and when we found you… gods we were so scared that we couldn’t get to you in time! Thank the 12 gods Haan’it quickly shot the beast in its eye! Then when we went to check on you, you were- “ Alfyn’s hand suddenly grabbed Ophilia’s shoulder and she fell silent, tears streaming down her face. “I know how you feel Ophilia, but right now we have more pressing matters at hand.” Ophilia wiped her tears, “Right, I apologize. Tressa, can you stand?” 

Tressa nodded, stunned and silent. She tried to stand on her own but she collapsed under her own weight. She went to try again, but a hand suddenly appeared before her and she looked up to see it belonging to Alyfn. “Here, let us help you up this time.” Tressa was hesitant and was about to refuse when Ophilia reached down as well. “Please.” Tressa looked at both hands and closed her eyes and took both of their hands and hoisted herself up. Olberic, Haan’it and Linde, Primrose, Theiron, and Cyrus cornered the poisonous beast. However, the beast started to get enraged and the team was running out of energy. Behind them though, they felt a gust of wind and they turned to see Alfyn and Ophilia holding up a very weak Tressa with her hands outstretched and the wind twisting and turning around her. They got down on the ground, hands on their heads, and Tressa pushed her hands forward and shouted “THE WINDS OF TRADE ARE HOWLING!”

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally getting back to Victor Hollow, the crew made headway into the local inn and decided to call it a night. Alfyn and Ophilia tended to everyone and then they all retired to their respected rooms. Tressa had seem to have already fallen asleep peacefully when they had arrived to the inn so they put her on her bed and then all feel asleep. 

When Tressa heard their breaths deepening and evening out, Tressa opened her eyes and looked around to see all the girls asleep. ‘I can’t stay with them like this; it hurts to much to be around them right now.’ Tressa sat up with difficulty, her damaged clothes still on her person, and stood up. There was still a slight bit of pain when she stood up but she managed, and grabbed her bag once again to head out. Once again she slowly shut the door and once again, she headed for the outside. A sudden thought came across her mind, she had to make sure she had the eldrite to give as a gift to Leon for saving her. She took off her pack and rummaged through it. “It’s not here?!”

“Lookin’ for this?”

The lights suddenly turn on and Tressa quickly turns around. In the hallway where she came from stood Therion with the Eldrite in hand. “So, you’re going to pull the same trick you did like last time?”

“It wasn’t a trick, I left a note explaining why I left and my reason still stands.”, anger and panic started to rise and she shot out her hand, “Now please give it back.”

“Hmmm”, Therion takes the jem and taps it against his chin and doing a mockingly bad thinking pose, “nope!” Therion then proceeds to toss it behind him and someone catches it.

“Besides, that letter didn’t sound truthful to us at all. Your heart wasn’t in it” Primrose stepped out of the shadows, Eldrite in hand. Tressa tries to get to her but fails when she tosses it to her right.

“‘I want to explore the world more and see what it has to offer by myself, it was great traveling with you guys but you guys should go back to your own lives.’ Now that doesn’t sound like the Tressa I know at all,” The stone freezes at Alfyn who suddenly made his presence known, sitting on the counter. “The Tressa I know also wouldn’t leave without telling us in person. Now tell us the real truth, why did you leave us?”

“What if I told you that was the reason!” Tressa started to rage and once again tries and fails to retrieve the stone when Alfyn tosses it behind her. 

“Then why were there 2 notes in the waste bin with scribbles and a different reason on each one of them?” Ophilia said calmly as stepped out of the shadow of the room, the stone in her hands. Cyrus following closely behind her. “And the tear stain on the letter you presented to us?” Cyrus questioned, “The contradictions was quite clear and It doesn’t take a scholar like me to understand that that note did not have your true intentions written on it.”

Tressa refused to answer dove for the crystal, surprising Ophilia making her drop the stone. She reached for the falling jem but it was quickly snatched away by a white blur. She followed the blur, Linde, giving the stone to Haan’it who was watching from the door.

“Thou art not did allow to leaveth the lodging until thee sayeth why. So speaketh from thy heart, why didst thee leaveth us?”

Tressa, tired from this game of Meep in the Middle, attempts for the final time to grab her friend’s treasure. She was then suddenly picked up by Olberic “Tell us why Tressa!” He demanded.

“BECAUSE I’M SELFISH!” Tressa cried. 

The room atmosphere changed in a instant and no on. Meanwhile Tressa started to speak, words tumbling out of her mouth without her consent. “I started this journey with one goal in mind, to see the world and what it has to offer. I thought it was a good reason to travel, but when I started to meet you guys I started to doubt my reason. You guys have a purpose for going on this adventure and they are understandable reasons. While you guys are doing this for freedom, revenge, the health of the people, your holy duty, truth, your great master, and a reason to fight. When you boil down my reason for it, it’s for treasure and how to get rich.” Tears continued to flow freely from her face, her speech becoming incomprehensible. “I also caused you so much trouble during you journeys and…” Tressa looked down, “I feel like I could become the new Omar.”

“Tressa…” Primrose whispered. 

“Well that would never happen.”

Everyone’s head turned to see Therion slouching against a wall. He was staring straight at Tressa with a hard look in his eyes. “You said it yourself, you’re selfish.” “Therion!” Alfyn scolded. “You think you can keep you problems to yourself all the time. How naive.” Therion stalked up to Tressa. “We all had our share of problems” he gestured to the room, “but if you keep them all to yourself you will lose yourself in the end. Take it from a guy who’s done it before.”

“... you guys won’t hate me for it?”

“And why would we do that?” Primrose replied. “I told you I wanted revenge, that was the first thing I said to you when you first spoke to me. Even when I was going down a very dangerous path you stuck by my side, by all of us.” Primrose reached out for an embrace. “So why should we hate you when you have done nothing but show us kindness?”

Tressa just looked at her, shocked at what she was hearing, and started to sob once again. She ran towards her and accepted the hug gratefully. “I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” She chanted over and over again as the rest of the party started to sigh in relief and chuckled. 

Alfyn tapped the top of Tressa’s head and Tressa looked up. “Welcome back Tressa.”

Tressa wiped her tears away and smiled, the familiar feeling of happiness and relief returning to her. “Yeah, glad to be back!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Any questions, comments, or if you saw any errors, please comment down below! It is very appreciated!


End file.
